Retreat Goodness, part 4 (the scary stuff)

We talked on retreat about writing naked. 

With your clothes on.

About speaking your truth and letting it flow and allowing what wants to be written come forth.

And it felt scary to me.  Still does.  Do I have anything to say that matters?  Can I trust what is in my heart to come to life in an understandable way?  Will it land anywhere? 

On retreat I was working on a manual for advocacy.  And I’m still working on it.  It’s inside me, I know.  Just waiting to come to life, to birth in words.  Here’s the introduction that I crafted on retreat:

“For my sisters:

We are sacred containers

We are bold and courageous

We are the mouth pieces to tell the tales that must be told

We are witnesses

And listening ears

We hold the space for others to heal

We are the bridge between two lifetimes

Filled with belly laughs, angry tears and sorrowful wails

We are fierce, sometimes cranky, always relentless

We have sisters and sons and partners and mamas

We ask the questions gently yet raise our voices loudly

We are fundraisers, coffeemakers and courtwatchers

We rally

We call for justice

We choose compassion over judgment every day

We hold for certain that peace is possible

We are the conduits of change

We see healing possibility everywhere—everywhere!

We are family, my advocate tribe”

I love this.  It resonates with my heart and spirit.

And I’m hopeful that what is left to be written will be just as heartfelt, just as naked.  Havi reminded us that we can befriend the struggle, the fear, the icky-ness, the not knowing, the feelings of anxiousness.  We can sit with that part of ourselves and ask to hear the messages that need to be told in a way that we can hear.  Isn’t that beautiful and comforting?  So for today, I’ll take a deep breath.  Trust that the words will unfold.  Listen to my inner rumblings.  Keep putting pen to paper.  Maybe take a walk.  Remember the women around me, both far and near.

And allow the yearning, the desire to come to life.